HQ – A space for Parents

Recent research by the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare indicates, the most likely drug that the troops (young people) will experiment with is alcohol, (and to a lesser extent cannabis).

Alcohol is widely available, and despite age restrictions, it is readily obtainable by your troops. But let’s face facts:

• Alcohol is a psychoactive drug that affects senses, thoughts and behaviour.
• Alcohol is also the drug you as a parent/caregiver are most likely to accept, because it is legal.
• Research shows that Alcohol is most likely to be obtained by a young person from a parent or caregiver.
• Alcohol is the second-largest cause of drug-related deaths and hospitalisation in Australia after tobacco. Despite what you might read or see in the media, it’s NOT heroin, and NOT ice.

From the age of 14 or so your troops will be exploring their social lives where they will be faced with making decisions about drinking alcohol, experimenting with drugs and being sexually active. The later stages of adolescence can be a minefield for both parents and young people, and what we know is that your troops are more likely to have problems with drugs, alcohol and sexual health issues if they do not have good supportive relationships at home, good social skills or confidence. Let’s face it … ALL parents’ want the best for their kids.

So what to do?

Don’t panic - you were young once too. Use this drill to help keep the lines of communication crystal clear:

Listen. Talk WITH your troops, not AT them.

Gather your intel. Get the correct information on alcohol and other legal and illegal drugs so that you can talk with your troops.

NEVER be afraid to talk with them about the issues. Also know what penalties are involved with supplying alcohol to your troops. Supplying alcohol to minors is illegal and incurs large fines.  

Supply of Alcohol to Minors: The Legal, Health and Social Risks

Health Promotion - Secondary Supply of Alcohol 

Foreign correspondent. The images of modern lifestyle that you see in the media may often seem foreign. But, as a parent/caregiver it is important to be able to help your troops make sense of glamorised drug and alcohol use, violence and inappropriate behaviour they see in the media and in advertising. You can use this as an opening for talking about drugs and making decisions.

Rules of engagement. You need to negotiate and agree with your troops, about how they should behave and, sometimes it can be as hard for you to negotiate your teenagers growing up, as it is for them. Remember that they have learned a lot of their attitudes to drugs and alcohol from home over many years of absorbing information and by observing the people around them.

Ground rules (or the rules of engagement) at home are protective factors. Believe it or not, kids feel lost without boundaries…they are a good thing, but be wary of double standards.

The rules of engagement need to be strong, yet flexible. Sometimes your strategies will need to be reviewed. For example, the strategies you employ for a 15 year old will probably not be appropriate when they are 17.

The troops (your young people) will make their own decisions about their personal relationships; much of the groundwork for these relationships has already been established. Trust in their ability to make good decisions and be there to support them when things go wrong.

Be alert, but not alarmed, and be prepared to revisit and rework boundaries from time to time. Adolescents need to earn trust and you can repay this by allowing more freedom.

If you are approached to host a party for the troops, just remember it’s success is all in the planning and negotiating the ground rules.  

Checkpoint Charlie. Check in on their progress during a tour or if they go MIA and ALWAYS offer to pick your troops up if they feel uncomfortable or unsafe.
REMEMBER:

• It’s ok to ask them where they are.
• It’s ok to ask them who they’re with.
• Be a part of their life but don’t overstep the agreed rules of engagement.
• You need to be able to pick them up safely if they cannot get home. This means being mindful that you need to have a legal blood alcohol content (BAC) yourself if you need to drive. YOU don’t want to become a risk to them, their mates or other people on the road
• When young people lie about their whereabouts it’s because they think that you won’t approve. The clearer your lines of communication (i.e.: LISTENING, TALKING & BEING OPEN WITH THEM), the more likely they are to act responsibly when their plans change.

Fear tactics: Don’t work… So don’t use them! Encourage your troops to gather good intel. Better still, you could even do it together.

Training exercise: Radio Silence.(Try this out with your troops). It’s a really good idea to have an open discussion about how you would each go about getting in contact if there was a serious problem.

Ask them how they would contact you if they lost their phone, ran out of money or ended up stranded by themselves.

Then ask them how you would contact them if there were an emergency at home if they lost their phone or their battery was flat.  

Perhaps it is a good idea to have the numbers of a couple of their close friends (of course with the agreed rules of engagement about under what circumstances you would use this information) You never know – a good contingency plan could save their life; you just need to have that discussion.